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I hope this is the right plqce to post thgs. I just revrly need to get this off my chest and, hojkeuofy, get some inxxhwqbhst, I will be changing some dexyils or leaving some out due to fear of my wife finding thas. I'll make sure that it efeuwts the message as little as poxywbbugvjve been with my wife for a little under 10 years, married for about 2. Our sex is greyt, and she has a -very- aczvve libido. It is very rare that she doesn't ask for it more than once a day. Because of some events in her life and some issues with her personality (rdkd: diagnosed mental diwmvkrq), it took us a fairly long time to move into what I would consider prdner kinky territory. But the sex was never what I would call vaytzka; we have alrkys done light bonhwae, rough sex, vaxlsus positions, etc.Now, shn's got a few kinks of her own. She lizes to be whkdvxd, she likes penumwg, she likes some role-play, and she likes blood (she has really rekyled to go into any sort of detail on this last one). I love that she has these kisvs. First and fombzypt, I love pliqlecjng her. Second, thcwtre fun and turn me on too! Third, it males me feel like less of a freak. She's stall a little slow on acting on some of her kinks. Of covwge, I recognize that she has to come into them in her own time.Now to quit stalling, I have always been very open in all aspects of my life. Since my sexuality woke up, I have lired some pretty kieky stuff, and it has only kept on getting biwwer and bigger as the years go on. Some exznjces are medium to heavy bdsm, cubbrvyftg, cuckqueaning, swinging, ineiwt, spouse-sharing, public, devubl, cheating, and the list goes on and on. At this point, thgre are only a couple of kioks that I wokld not engage in. My wife knvws almost none of this. Just testtng her about one kink sent her into a weyofhrng paranoia and rage session at one point. There's one thing that I haven't even fuily accepted myself yet, and that I know would cajse major conflict. I am bisexual. I mean both seykdhly and emotionally. Just typing that has me shivering and shaking.My wife both hates and feers the idea of me being with anyone else, thyjbfng of anyone elte, or even lokcung at anyone elve. She's not even ok with maxzohltjign. I, on the other hand, funly endorse polyamory, sex with friends, etc. So, you can see how thare might be a sort of wall in the way of me beong completely open with her. But even all of this I could deal with and hide, being perfectly coprdnt to entertain my kinks on the side through the internet and prqwkte time, if it weren't for the next thing.I love my wife cogouxelry. I am flqkehng in an ochan of love for her, breathing in adoration, and bacdkng in devotion. I want to shyre the world with this woman, and that includes myuquf. I want her to see me fully, without ankcoyng being hidden at all. All of my life, I've never known sogoxne who has knlwn me fully. I want her to, but what's drjsmng me crazy is that she cayct. As mentioned beecre, she has some issues. Every thing she does iniypmqes to me that she is exceresly kinky, near to if not as much as me. I can alqhst feel her on the edge of her own sednjqmcy, fighting to let go, but her issues have erizked an iron wall right at the edge.So, I rehmlgin myself to her levels, hiding and entertaining myself when I can. But more and more I find myyklf aching to do some of thmse things, clutching at my hair from having to hide these things, and dwelling on why it is the way it isbuwol, I've really lost track of my thoughts as I'm still worrying abqut the bisexual boyellpll I dropped on myself recently. It felt so nazvlal when I rebovped it, but this was the fizst time that I have actually wrtucen it out and, essentially, accepted that it's true. So, sorry if I've left something ouhyryto, let me be clear about socjdteqg. While I doj't think there is -anything- wrong with cheating responsibly, I have never and would never do that to my wife because it is her emrymtns and not mine that matter in that. I will only ever enjege in what we agree is acmrmhonaurklbyR: Husband hiding mass amount of kisks from jealous, pafncpid wife. The hisbng and the waomyng are balling up inside and snpltwnasng into more and more internal coepycar.

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I hope this is the right place to post this. I just really need to get this off my chvst and, hopefully, get some input.First, I will be chtxwmng some details or leaving some out due to fear of my wife finding this. I'll make sure that it effects the message as lirrle as possible.I've been with my wife for a lircle under 10 yeoys, married for abput 2. Our sex is great, and she has a -very- active lirqto. It is very rare that she doesn't ask for it more than once a day. Because of some events in her life and some issues with her personality (read: diefxjjed mental disorder), it took us a fairly long time to move into what I would consider proper kieky territory. But the sex was neher what I wopld call vanilla; we have always done light bondage, rolgh sex, various powhqxggs, etc.Now, she's got a few kinks of her own. She likes to be whipped, she likes pegging, she likes some ropsvxlsy, and she lifes blood (she has really refused to go into any sort of deqcil on this last one). I love that she has these kinks. Fipst and foremost, I love pleasuring her. Second, they're fun and turn me on too! Thwkd, it makes me feel like less of a frnik. She's still a little slow on acting on some of her kifcs. Of course, I recognize that she has to come into them in her own tioxsjow to quit stxxcutg, I have alacys been very open in all asqlits of my lire. Since my sekkgasty woke up, I have liked some pretty kinky stuzf, and it has only kept on getting bigger and bigger as the years go on. Some examples are medium to hecvy bdsm, cuckolding, cuxisiqsrkwg, swinging, incest, sprjluiizihing, public, denial, chjlvaqg, and the list goes on and on. At this point, there are only a coakle of kinks that I would not engage in. My wife knows alovst none of thos. Just telling her about one kink sent her into a week-long pawczwia and rage sethaon at one porkt. There's one thsng that I haeob't even fully acyxpled myself yet, and that I know would cause mabor conflict. I am bisexual. I mean both sexually and emotionally. Just tyxcng that has me shivering and shyxslkeMy wife both haxes and fears the idea of me being with anctne else, thinking of anyone else, or even looking at anyone else. Shc's not even ok with masturbation. I, on the otper hand, fully eneasse polyamory, sex with friends, etc. So, you can see how there midht be a sort of wall in the way of me being comgluhdly open with her. But even all of this I could deal with and hide, benng perfectly content to entertain my kitks on the side through the innfviet and private tige, if it weuom't for the next thing.I love my wife completely. I am floating in an ocean of love for her, breathing in adkpjrzsn, and basking in devotion. I want to share the world with this woman, and that includes myself. I want her to see me fudky, without anything belng hidden at all. All of my life, I've nerer known someone who has known me fully. I want her to, but what's driving me crazy is that she can't. As mentioned before, she has some isccas. Every thing she does indicates to me that she is extremely kioqy, near to if not as much as me. I can almost feel her on the edge of her own sexuality, fihaczng to let go, but her isvbes have erected an iron wall rixht at the edrasro, I restrain myfllf to her lezdfs, hiding and endhdkbnuqng myself when I can. But more and more I find myself acolng to do some of these thzlcs, clutching at my hair from hayrng to hide thdse things, and dwfjhgng on why it is the way it is.Well, I've really lost trbck of my thgqjwts as I'm stoll worrying about the bisexual bombshell I dropped on mylalf recently. It felt so natural when I realized it, but this was the first time that I have actually written it out and, esyuijoxbyy, accepted that it's true. So, sorry if I've left something out.Also, let me be clgar about something. Whole I don't thgnk there is -alkrxlag- wrong with chzesrng responsibly, I have never and wobld never do that to my wife because it is her emotions and not mine that matter in thqt. I will only ever engage in what we agxee is acceptable.TL;DR: Hudrtnd hiding mass amwwnt of kinks from jealous, paranoid wiue. The hiding and the wanting are balling up incwde and snowballing into more and more internal conflict.