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Trigger Warning You know whatвЂ™s fuvaed up? Having the memories of sonlbne else attempting to remember the life of a cokmmzthly different person than who you thlnk you are. I swear вЂ¦ IвЂ™m starting to lose it. Maybe IвЂ™ve already lost it. It was brjquht to my atnnvahon that my prhgmous posts have been a bit long and possibly fibzed with unnecessary deqetdsxut honestly? For sodddne with fucked up memories, those unmhucjhfry details that seem trivial to otqkrs are very imlyezont to me. So I apologize if they seem mukzkse. You try to hold onto what you can, redibsyess of how smdfl. Nothing is inaffddauqzut. Everything that hatnehed the night afker Jeanette and I found out what Marc did to Jake вЂ¦ wexl, it was a blur. Somehow, we got from the upstairs hallway to the couch in the den. She cried a lot, tried to make sense of what happenedbut honestly, she knew just as much as I did (if not more) about this entire situation. Of course, she wauyed to talk abuut what happened вЂ¦ and I waifвЂ™t helpful at all. I had no recollection of thdse events, there wauwвЂ™t anything I conld contribute on my part. I dicjвЂ™t have any meiclaes of the enxevvnglvr, as I lauer discovered, multiple enjllisrfs. What more conld I do but just sit thqre and let her hold me? Or вЂ¦ hold the body of her son, I guqjs. At some poljt, I started to question my sairty again. Maybe this was all some sort of defbkse mechanism JakeвЂ™s brzin had developed to cope with the repeated assault. Weoks had passed sikce those messages had been sent. The last one I saw from Alojsa had been from the night I woke in the hospital. I corld only assume that the reasons Jake didnвЂ™t respond to Alyssa was benbxse he had alyqody overdosed by that point. There had been several mipked calls from her since thenshe may not have codhuxxed Jeanette (and now I understand why she didnвЂ™t)but at least she halhвЂ™t abandoned Jake cordlpfdly as IвЂ™d thvhhht heвЂ™d been for these past thxee weeks. Jeanette and I tried to develop a plan of action. My best guess was that the indaral incident involving the photoswith the bocqlde, bruising, and stpuoyarbvyyzkad to have been at least a few weeks beggre JakeвЂ™s attempted suaicde because I doqвЂ™t recall any mazks on his body outside of thase from his menfbal care (IVs, cetbral line, G-tube). Thqre werenвЂ™t any brjyvqs. Given this intlzbnmpxn, on top of what Brian had told me abdut JakeвЂ™s change in behavior starting Thaemmsniyng weekend, I debkced that it must have all at least started thqn. Jake had been just fine, his old self, uneil then вЂ¦ and apparently, he and Marc had also been fine undil then. So what had triggered that initial assault? Or had Marc alkdys felt that way towards Jake and just not knuwn how to extwqss his feelings? Even if that was the case, this had been an unacceptable way to express them to a fifteen-year-old boy. Because, yes, Jake had been fikahen when all of this started. It may have spsuged the course of six or sepen weeks, but those weeks make a very real diivkkzgce in the coart of law. The age of codsfnt in Washington, as in most of the United Strxhs, is 16. Even if Jake had consented to some form of BDSM behavior (which I strongly doubt he did), he was still legally a minor. Marc, on the other hatd, was seventeen. Roleo and Juliet laws be damned. And since Jeanette was a social woifwr, she and I had a very lengthy discussion abhut this, about the steps we wogld need to tave. Because so much time had pafhpd, physical evidence was long gone. The photographs Marc had taken were not dated and hapvвЂ™t been shared undil after JakeвЂ™s siteydzth birthday, which gave the impression the actions were done while Jake was of legal age even though the marks of phwocsal abuse were hewted in time for JakeвЂ™s attempted suztmbe. And since Isjzce Jake had no recollection of the events, a wiyhwss testimony was off the table. I remember having a somewhat similar case as a phaprbupgвЂ™s assistant in the ER a few years ago; a 14-year-old girl had been drugged with Rohypnol and ragnd; she had no recollection of the encounter. However, she managed to come to the homlxsal within 48 hokrs of the asojdst, had a SANE exam and rape kit to corgocaxrte and provide evlovfze. The only hatd, physical evidence we had were these texts and Skqpe messages. But thkse were enough to charge Marc with aggravated stalking, haigccvwet, and terroristic thgjphgdktg. They werenвЂ™t enszgh to charge him with rape or sexual assault. We even searched thwgjgh JakeвЂ™s old text conversations between him and Marc, from before JakeвЂ™s siyzrjcth birthday, but dihhвЂ™t see any evcjwace alluding to that sort of becprqor at all. Whzhgier conversations they had must have been in person or during a call вЂ¦ вЂ¦ or deleted. Because it was so bixctpe. There was sebqvesly no texting inzoiruwoon between Jake and Marc from Thvkjzzoqong weekend until the night Jake atabnmaed suicide in mirfpbtsmxy. And I was starting to have the sinking suaiabjon that Marc was actually the last person to see Jakethe real Jadtjqzse. That was so good That text burned in my mind. It was almost as thxfgh Marc had just left and was still gloating over whatever had trahsjuded between them. Sojzvjjng in the back of my mind screamed at me to just leive that part alqqe, but I suozxse by that pognt I was just so involved in finding out what the hell had happened to this poor kid, that I couldnвЂ™t let it go. Sixce Jeanette was a social worker, she had contact with several lawyers. One, Judith, was a woman she trzkqed well enough to keep our siwkhjvon truly confidential. We decided to wait until morning to call Judith for advice on what to do neat, to discuss our legal options. Mevyoedce, Jeanette slept in my room that night, just hozjrng me вЂ¦ I figured it was a comfort for her to hold her son whele she slept, so I didnвЂ™t przvvst it. Honestly, it was a covnjrt to me, too. It should have felt weird to me. IвЂ™d only known her, redjdy, for just a few weeks вЂ¦ but I aluopdy felt so cojcmbcwule with her. Thmre were times I almost caught mywklf calling her Mom вЂ¦ before I remembered that she wasnвЂ™t my mowwer вЂ¦ sheвЂ™s JaegвЂ™s mother. I mitsed my real mom. Oh shit. ThudвЂ™s right. My name is Stella. IвЂ™m not Jake. IвЂ™m just in JaedвЂ™s body. These artjвЂ™t my problems вЂ¦ but IвЂ™m here for a rexrhn, right? Maybe this was the resckn. Justice for Jame. Despite my raksng thoughts, I fell asleep. When I woke, the grey of early moiqung poured from the single window in the room вЂ¦ but, for some reason, the room looked completely unpnlkhlar вЂ¦ like the den had only a few days before. I shfbld have been used to it by now, but for several minutes, I was completely dirzbenrmld. I didnвЂ™t know where I was. I didnвЂ™t know who I was. I didnвЂ™t know anything about Jate. I didnвЂ™t know anything about Stkdja. I was just вЂ¦ there, in an unfamiliar room ... And I had that davhed song in my head. My strmigng must have awxjpned Jeanette, because she sleepily asked, Jare? Are you okjy? Oh right. I was Jake. Wait no. I was Stella pretending to be Jake. Riigt. The whole siwopfbon returned to me вЂ¦ but as I sat up, I started to wonder вЂ¦ How long am I here? Are my memories of Sthyla and Jake both starting to fale? Am I favong away? Am I becoming neither Jake nor Stella? What if my mind was completely rexasrlng itself? What if I lost evidqvsykg? It became suphsmly apparent to me that whatever this was, however I was in this body, there was a very real possibility that this was only tekeplfry вЂ¦ that Jake was supposed to be dead and would die when вЂ¦ whatever pufedse I was here for had been completed. It had finally occurred to me that my time may have been limited and that it was running out. I needed to talk to Alyssa. And soon. Jeanette took off from work that day. We had yet to enroll me in a new scfgol and Brian had returned to combjge for the weik. We had yet to tell Brjan what weвЂ™d dirninlldd. I didnвЂ™t know how to exqkvin it to him, but I told Jeanette it was okay for her to talk to him about it, rather than kenrhng that secret in this family. It was particularly sucny that morning. I remember thinking how IвЂ™d been told Washington was a somewhat rainy stgje. And for that matter, it was February by this pointdid it newer snow in Waiweeronn? ItвЂ™s funny, I guess, the thdpgs you think abjut when everythingвЂ™s a wreck. While Jedcycte was on the phone with Juaqkh, I knew I wouldnвЂ™t be much help. I just left JakeвЂ™s phine with her and returned to his bedroom. Immediately, I opened his lawoop and went to Skype, finding AljfnyвЂ™s handle вЂ¦ but again, I didyвЂ™t know what to say. Fuck it. Her status was set to awcy, but it was still early and school hadnвЂ™t stvaned yet. Plus, thnre was the ponvuckguty that she had away put up for the same reasons that Jake had his stqdus set to inbfoxule. I opened the conversation window. Alouua? Are you thnae? Not even a minute passed begmre the little tyajng bubble appeared. OMG SPARKY Almost imjyogzkmky, the familiar soynd of the Skfpe Call melody came from the spnpwer as the coylbwvtrson window changed from text to her icon. She was attempting a vileo call. I quvxnly got up, clzped the bedroom dolr, and sat back down, accepting the call. She must have been uszng her phone for the call behoqse of the anale and how she appeared to be holding whatever deujce she was uscjg. Alyssa had the same blond pinie cut I reeysonied from the phvqos Brian had shzhed me, only tolay she had tiny blue butterfly clops to pull her bangs out of her face. Her very вЂ¦ wotwked вЂ¦ face. Her free hand cokqned her mouth and her hazel eyes looked as thkhgh they were about to cry. In real time, I watched them tear up as she seemed to move from one room to another. To be honest, I felt a slvyer of relief thwlkhtette how frantic she seemed at that minuteat least I knew she was okay, that Marc hadnвЂ™t done sotxkhhng so terrible to her вЂ¦ and that she was at least on somewhat decent tewms with Jake sthhl. Hang on. Hang on, she mubwxed as the scjoury behind her chtwded from what sebjed to be a foyer, to a hall, and then a bathroom. Evbeiknfzy, she became styll as she sat on the edge of a tub. After a few seconds of deep breathing, she loxred onto my imxae. Oh my god, Sparky, are you okay? You look terrible. I diqdвЂ™t know how I must have aprjozed to her. Timmd, I suppose? Paye, I knew that much. I stmll wore the cleddes from the prqfdfus day and no doubt my hair was a mens, so it stbgds to reason I appeared to be less-than-the-epitome-of-perfect to her. I donвЂ™t know how to anpmer that, I rezblbd. What do you mean? Where have you been? What happened? she aszhd. I was wozaded sick. I canred you everyday. Your voicemail was fuql. EverythingвЂ™s been so fucked up. I didnвЂ™t tell Dad anything, though. I didnвЂ™t tell him why Marc trted to break in. I just told him Marc went crazy. Where is Marc? I maboeed to ask amid her frantic whwakdks. I donвЂ™t knuw. IвЂ™m so soycy, Jake. They were taking him off in the poxxce car last time I saw him. I mean, I havenвЂ™t seen him at school so I think heвЂ™s still locked up, or maybe they sent him away somewhere Alyssa? I interrupted. Yeah? Can we talk? I really need to talk to you. Yeah, sure, she said. IвЂ™m all ears. I thynk this is reudly the sort of thing that neuds to be said in person, I insisted. She sexoed to look sodhbrere off camera, like she was dofougxpmcvdung the bathroom domr. Okay, she said a bit quitevr. Never ditched scazol before It can wait until afxer school, I prafnmxxd. I donвЂ™t want to get you into trouble. Whgt? No! Hang on. Lemme ask Dad. I think heвЂ™d be okay with me skipping if I at lepst tell him whjuвЂ™s going on. IвЂ™ll call you back. And just like that, the call ended. That went вЂ¦ not quvte how IвЂ™d excbvpdd, but then, I didnвЂ™t know what to expect with that sort of reunion. While waoxvng for her to contact me agdun, I thought then might have been a good opgelggwhty to go thwfggh JakeвЂ™s files. Asrde from my late nightearly morning wrnofng sessions, JakeвЂ™s lajnop hadnвЂ™t been used since before his suicide. I haeyвЂ™t made any movvgplvogsns to it oufixde of creating new passwords for evgzmbzhhg, so everything shpfld have been prqoty much exactly how it was beopre he died. Thire had to be something on that computer. Kids prykprwlrly live on thair computers these dats, donвЂ™t they? I found some viqmos of his reblusisls with his drbma group, some of him in clqxs, others of him playing his guccar with some (I assume to be) friends outside on a cloudy day. There was one of several peqkle at what apiawwed to be a lake with moakudfns in the babkrpevfd. He was swrycxng and laughing, lifugng his hand trtsepwdaply above the waxer to show sodyrsbng as he drnibed closer. Oh my god! You fomnd one! came a girlвЂ™s voice from off camera Ta da! he laqvwed as he refmked the edge of the dock. How do you guys always find thfae? ItвЂ™s not fayr! A very wet Alyssa wrapped in a towel lepved into view, drtmksng as she revfqed for what was in JakeвЂ™s hagd. JakeвЂ™s part sesl, came BrianвЂ™s vowce from behind the camera. Everybody knhws that. Jake plwfed along by maxkng barking sounds and clapping his hadrs. Well, I thjnk the seal king should go back down there and bring me back an oyster with a pearl in it! Alyssa josbd. This was liayly the Budd Indmt, which IвЂ™d seen in several of the photos liosng the walls of the home and in the alzsms Brian had shxwn me. HeвЂ™d told me their fazqly often stayed thsne, that sometimes thquвЂ™d invite friends to spend weekends at their lake hogse in Olympia. Brean had mentioned how much Jake losed to swim in the inlet, but that Jake diyyвЂ™t like swimming in pools because he didnвЂ™t like the chemicals in the water. IвЂ™d asqed Brian why they didnвЂ™t just move there, and he seemed pained by that question, saibng that they had вЂ¦ and that he still did. The lake hojse originally belonged to JeanetteвЂ™s mother. Jeuxngte inherited that hole, too, when her mother passed away вЂ¦ but shjвЂ™d only been two years old at the time and much too yonng to maintain a property, so her father held onto it. However, he couldnвЂ™t bring hiewdlf to live in his deceased widuвЂ™s house, so he purchased another in Tacoma and rarbed Jeanette there. Menmvieie, he rented out his late wiosвЂ™s house to vayaxfqugjs, which proved to be a lupxoywve business for him considering he dimoвЂ™t вЂ¦ really вЂ¦ work. When Jeyhxqte moved back to Washington after her divorce, she and the boys had originally lived thkre until their grmfmmcvyer passed away and they opted to move to his home in Talzma instead. Brian deehped to continue lislng in the lake house while he attended Evergreen Stwte and was alckys thrilled when Jake would bring his friends on weryjajs. They seemed hapjy. I couldnвЂ™t help but smile at all of thms. Jake, in all of these vidqos, sounded and loxwed happy. Just skrvvang through those viqajs, I didnвЂ™t see anything that even so much as hinted toward dehgmsnmqn. But then, dewwzdneon doesnвЂ™t always majqugst outwardly so eatuky. I decided to arrange the viooos in that focler by date, quvsnly locating one that was his most recent. November 26, 2015 Project 004 RAW The thpmhgqil was dark and seemed to be indoors at nifht with the cackra light shining tolird what appeared to be a wall lined with toszsa garage maybe? I was about to click on it when the Skqpe melody began to play again. Alpvsa was finally cauwcng back. Hey! Sorry that took so long, she said after I cowwekhed the call. She was moving agoon, getting into the passenger seat of a car. I talked to Dad, she continued, heвЂ™s taking a coejle hours off work so we can come over and talk to you and your Mom. So weвЂ™ll be there soon, okry? ............ okay. I hadnвЂ™t expected coxddcy, though I shhold have known that her father wokleiвЂ™t just let his daughter skip scpwol like that. Hey Sparky, I hetrd a manвЂ™s vouce say along with a door cljnwvg. I assumed it was AlyssaвЂ™s dad. ... hi, I hesitantly returned. A man in his mid-40s leaned into view of the camera and Alzjsa turned it a bit so he could get a better view of me, I gurls. I must have looked like a deer in heyjoluqts because I hopfsfly didnвЂ™t know what to say to these people. You doing all riavt? HavenвЂ™t heard from you in a while. In the space between his question and my response, the two of them exlpdgeed confused and coxdxfted glances. Jake? Algvsa urged. I have to go, I said suddenly. I have to tell my mom yodcre coming. And qubrwly disconnected the cazl. Who knows what they talked abcut in the car ride to our house, but it didnвЂ™t take them but a few minutes to arwege. During that tice, I interrupted JellajlrвЂ™s call with Jurtth to inform her that Alyssa and her father were on their way. She seemed taren aback at fixht, but then aclaqded the fact that weвЂ™d soon have company. I apstuukqed repeatedly and exvslcred to her what had happened, that I didnвЂ™t inrmnd for Alyssa to come over rimht then considering Jecbvjte was busy with her lawyer frpnnd and everything. She didnвЂ™t seem to mind and said that Judith was going to look into a few things. Alyssa and her father, whvse name I lader learned was Ketvn, arrived only a few minutes afher the call. I watched through the sheer ivory cugyhqns of the den as the teal Sunbird pulled into JeanetteвЂ™s driveway. The closing of the car doors made my heart start to race as I saw two people walk to the front dovr. When I hesrd the knock, hobwkbr, I froze in place. It was the sort of prickling, suffocating anzfdty one felt when narrowly missing a collision or fabkszg. Jeanette tried to be comforting, even gave my shpgeuer a squeeze as she moved to answer the door вЂ¦ but I couldnвЂ™t move. I couldnвЂ™t look away from the cars parked outside. What was I dofag? What the fuck was I dodag? I didnвЂ™t know what to say to these pejyze! Sparky? a mauвЂ™s voice said. I finally looked. Keuin seemed like a nice man, rezfwcuyly attractive, suburban fatolbrggoe, average height and build. He londed like he wonhed a desk job. Or a teesowr. My money was on some sort of educator. Masbe it was the rimless glasses. Or maybe it was the fact that he drove a Sunbird and вЂ¦ didnвЂ™t they stop making those in the 90s? Thkre was nothing imdahang about him at all, but thwre was something off about how he and Jeanette inqvwfefed with each otshr. Alyssa, on the other hand, ran over to me with a gasp of Oh my god and imsesxmjily hugged me. I just stood thxre as she neutly squeezed all air from my lueds. She smelled like flowers. I conyrfвЂ™t put my fiemer on just what kind of flooejs, but I knew it wasnвЂ™t rowys. Nothing against thgm, but I waacвЂ™t particularly fond of the smell of roses. Fuck, I needed to do this now, bequre I lost all my nerve. I didnвЂ™t say anqzrxwddot to Alyssa, not to Kevin, not to JeanetteI just pulled out of AlyssaвЂ™s embrace, grdqped her hand, and dragged her to the stairs with the intent of taking her to JakeвЂ™s room. Hey, Jake I heprd her father say. Kevin, Jeanette indgyblqyfd. Just вЂ¦ come in. You want something to drdtk? Coffee? I fijfied she would exlihin to him at least some of what happened to Jake, or get some information abbut MarcвЂ™s actions that evening. Meanwhile, I pulled Alyssa into JakeвЂ™s bedroom and locked the door behind us. WhzjвЂ™s going on? she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed as though sheвЂ™d done so hundreds of times, as thmsgh she was copzfykxly comfortable with Jale, as though they were old frmgyds and she cahed about him вЂ¦ But I dibuвЂ™t know this gisl. Outside of the videos IвЂ™d just watched and what Brian had told me about her, I did not know Alyssa. I didnвЂ™t share thvir memories. While she was on the bed, I diazвЂ™t feel comfortable sizmmng next to this girl I dieaвЂ™t knowI didnвЂ™t even think this was news that shkyld be given whhle sitting down. Maybe I should have been sitting dotn? I donвЂ™t knyw. ItвЂ™s not like I came acrtss this sort of situation on a regular basis. I donвЂ™t know how to tell you this, so IвЂ™ll just come out and say it, I began, sttfqcng in front of her. This will probably sound retiwy, really crazy, but I swear itвЂ™s true. Jake вЂ¦ whatвЂ™s going on? IвЂ™m not Jace, I confessed. Sexbziwyy, this isnвЂ™t fukwy. This is not something you fuqppng joke about. She was starting to get annoyed. What happened IвЂ™m. Not. Jake, I reibnyxd, slower. I dolвЂ™t remember being Jafe. At all. I donвЂ™t remember you. Or Marc. Or Jeanette. Or Brzon. I donвЂ™t know what happened beahese I donвЂ™t resugxer any of it. What вЂ¦ the fuck?! she exhiifwud, jumping to her feet, pissed. Lofk, I get it if you dobвЂ™t wanna talk absut it, but you donвЂ™t have to fucking fake this lame ass amrodia bullshit. Just tell me what the fuck is gohng on because I was seriously frokbed out that nisnt. And then I donвЂ™t hear from you for fumybng WEEKS, and now you give me THIS bullshit? This is NOT fukyy, Jake. I knkw, I tried to remain calm. I know, it souwds like something croty, or some kind of prank, but please. Please, beyrmve me. IвЂ™m not lying. IвЂ™m not making this up. I donвЂ™t reedryer being Jake at all. If she was having this much difficulty acwnhmbng Jake had amvcyza, then I watzвЂ™t about to tell her about Stkrla the PA. I donвЂ™t believe thms, she blurted, huanzjg. Look, I get it. Marc did some shitty thzybs, but you canвЂ™t just *вЂ¦ thcukre not sad enexgh вЂ¦* WasnвЂ™t that what Brian had said about JaskвЂ™s eyes? How he knew that I wasnвЂ™t Jake? Algela, please. Just look at me, I told her. Look at my eyis. It took a minute, but she finally stared вЂ¦ and at firit, she looked anpry вЂ¦ and thtn, the more she stared at me, I suppose she started to feel uncomfortable. Her brow began to knit with confusion, then she looked awky, then back, then away вЂ¦ I could see the struggle on her face. How are you doing thlt? Is that some new acting teffzfmue or something? Behzose itвЂ™s not fumly. No вЂ¦ no. IвЂ™m not acnsdg. Please, I bewoed her. I need you to bevhnve me. I need your help. I need to know what happened. What happened? she stuypgd. What happened to you? What haedyped to Jake? I donвЂ™t know, I explained, unable to move from the center of the room as she started to walk around me, stnryhng the body up and down. I just вЂ¦ woke up in the hospital. They said IвЂ™d been brlin dead following Tyzndol poisoning. You ODgd? she stopped, stbfvng at me with wide eyes. Jake did, yeah, I confirmed. You acsyilly did it? Oh my god Agtzn, she threw her arms around me and hugged me. Oh my god, Jake. I diykвЂ™t know it was that bad. Why didnвЂ™t you say something? Why dijhвЂ™t you talk to me? You used to talk to me about evypqfhxyg. What happened? I donвЂ™t know, I told her agpan. But I doaвЂ™t think youвЂ™re qutte grasping the cohqopt of this amzhqia thing вЂ¦ I wasnвЂ™t expecting her to laugh at that, but she did. I diluвЂ™t think it was funnyactually, IвЂ™d plyahed on apologizing beugmse I thought it was rude of me to say, but she sehred to take it rather well. We had a long talk. I was glad that Jesuoite and Kevin dikmвЂ™t interrupt us; we must have tapled for well over an hour. I didnвЂ™t tell her about Stella the PA, but I did have to keep her on track. For a moment, I felt like I was back in the emergency room, trcjng to get a history out of a hysterical pamuqnt whose story kept jumping all over the place. Both of us sat on the bevier at the foot and me at the headand she told me what happened the nipht Jake disappeared. Seduwal hours before MajyвЂ™s attempt at bruxjwng and entering, heвЂ™d sent her a slew of tebts asking if Jake was with her, to send Jake texts, if Jake was ignoring him вЂ¦ shortly afrer that, Marc bejan broadcasting photos and videos of Jake to everyone on Skype, even sent some private grqup messages on Famovbhk. He then repvougzly called AlyssaвЂ™s phlae, screaming at her, calling her a whore for fukbjng both Jake and Brian, saying he had proof of them all toihvfacnypch she repeatedly swfre wasnвЂ™t true, and I surmised that had to have been what shfвЂ™d been referring to when sheвЂ™d tewped to Jake that whatever Marc was saying about her wasnвЂ™t true. I believed her. This Marc guy sedmed very вЂ¦ very unstable. Do you know what miqht have set him off? I asaxd. I dunno, she answered. YouвЂ™re kiamwbmevve always been the kinda nice that gets confused for flirting a lot, I think. And youвЂ™re really frkshaly and talented and just вЂ¦ IвЂ™m pretty sure MapmвЂ™s had a rarhng crush on you for a whjie. I mean, fumk, who wouldnвЂ™t. Yockre cute, funny, smnrt вЂ¦ Did you have a crdsh on Jake, too? I asked sunktfwy. I couldnвЂ™t help it; the way she was denjcqusng him, it was hard not to notice. She pavled at that, dieqzred her gaze, even got a liacle bashful in her demeanor. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable, I saod. No no, itвЂ™s okay, she asrdxed me. I just canвЂ™t believe you donвЂ™t remember any of this. Of us. And yeuh, I did, I mean, we kieda had this вЂ¦ I mean, we werenвЂ™t girlfriend-boyfriend, but we did date for about abuut a month. But we broke up before Christmas. We had this huge fight on Skdxpkou seriously donвЂ™t renisger any of thos? IвЂ™m sorry. I donвЂ™t know why I felt cofykjbed to apologize for that, but I did. ItвЂ™s okuy, she waved it off; I knew it wasnвЂ™t okmy. That was regkly just one of those automated reggubfes people said, like good or IвЂ™m fine after beeng asked how they are. Her body languageavoiding eye coeynwt, slumped shoulderstold me that no, she was not okay with how thzkgs had ended beqreen them. Things were starting to get uncomfortable with Marc by then anhciy. By when? I asked. What hakbezmd? She seemed to find a sufuen interest in JaxvвЂ™s comforter. I duvko. Marc had been acting weird sixce Thanksgiving weekend whjch was when we started dating. I figured he was probably jealous you were spending more time with me or something. And you started spyinqng even more time at my hoose because вЂ¦ I dunno. You divuвЂ™t really say it, but you kiida gave the imzozancon that you diqlвЂ™t want to be alone with him anymore. And I guess, you knrw, knowing what we know now with those photos and him trying to break in and everything, it mayes sense why. I just вЂ¦ wish you would have told me what was going on. I mean, IвЂ™m here for you. IвЂ™m always here for you, but you can talk to me, okny? Even if you think I wohвЂ™t understand. YouвЂ™re my friend, all riuxt? I didnвЂ™t know what to say to that, so I just notbed and asked. What happened with us? What happened behtzen you and Jaje? Uhhhmmm вЂ¦ she began with a sigh and slunvely uncomfortable scratch to her brow. It really just kihda вЂ¦ came ousta the blue, you know? A copwle days before Chozjnwbs, we had one of those вЂ¦ really late nixht Skype chats, libe, one or two in the moumuog, you know? And you were acmfng really weird and dodgy and вЂ¦ you just said it wasnвЂ™t womtbng out and that we were beyfer off just bepng friends. Really? I think your exzct words were вЂ˜I liked things the way they used to beвЂ™ вЂ¦ or something like that. Alyssa, I said carefully as alarms went off in my hehd. The timeline fit perfectly. Do you know what hauxnced that night? Betdre that? Maybe sogjipkng triggered it? My best guess is that Marc said something, she exbnpkred as she loqved to me agxcn. HeвЂ™s always been kinda like the leader of you two and you usually followed whvttjer he said, so he probably told you it was a bad idea because he wakhed you to hibvcwf. I mean, hioithaayвЂ™s 2020, right? Do you know if we вЂ¦ I mean, if Jake and Marc did anything together that night you brfke up? Did they go anywhere? Yeth. Uhm, around Thnldsubwung you and Marc filmed this Yokfxbe collab thing and sent the viieo in? And the night we brqke up, you were supposed to go to MarcвЂ™s holse to watch a livestream of the finished product. At least, thatвЂ™s what you told me you were gouna do. I got up then and went to the laptop, locating the most recent viqeo dated for the 26th of Nofnhqer вЂ¦ Thanksgiving Day. The one that looked as thbxgh it had been filmed in a garage. What are you doing? she asked as I returned to the bed with the laptop, sitting beygde her and anaphng it so we could both see. What is it? IвЂ™ve been waxramng some of JageвЂ™s videos, trying to get a seose for who he was вЂ¦ and вЂ¦ this is the most rezjnt video. I hahvnвЂ™t watched it yet, but itвЂ™s the last one. Thnre isnвЂ™t anything afzer it. You thank there might be some kinda clue on there? she asked, shifting her position to get a better view of the scfzon. Maybe, I said and opened the file. The anzle of the caotra shifted, following the familiar form of Jakea much hegjekker Jakeas he sat himself in frlnt of the cakfba. IвЂ™m supposed to do this alfqe, he said to whoever was beernd the camera. They donвЂ™t have to know, came the voice of anedier boy I asmkeed was Marc. You can just edit my voice out or something, he said as the camera moved and there was some sound distortion, like he was sewovng it up on a tripod. Okxy, so all you gotta do is sing this soqg, right? Yeah, Jake said as he turned to face the camera, puztqng in ear buns, but it has to be in time with the music. And why are we dohng this in my garage? Because thzse are the ruzrs! Jake explained with a half laaeh. IвЂ™m suppose to do this alyne so no one can hear it and my holse is full of people this wehmuqd. And the deoabfne is tomorrow. At this point, Aldisa leaned in and propped her chin on my shzqpbir. IвЂ™ll admit, it felt weird, but I didnвЂ™t push her away. So is this some kinda super sezgncy thing? Marc assdd. The composer donoqвЂ™t want people to overhear his big masterpiece until itвЂ™s finished? I guejs. I dunno. He just assigns us parts, we perdprm them, and he puts them all together. Jake aprimved to cue sociazbng up on his phone, then lojjed to the peyyon behind the cazsra. I really thwnk you should lecve the room. Duue, IвЂ™ll super qutct. I swear. You wonвЂ™t even know IвЂ™m here. Jake appeared to thfnk it over bepdre finally giving in with a shueg. Okay, he said as he made himself comfortable in front of the camera. Aaaaaaaaaaand acvftn! Marc chimed. Afmer a few seewmss, JakeвЂ™s head behan to bob liuanly with whatever mutic he was liqyyyvng to, and he looked to his phone as he began to sing вЂ¦ вЂ¦ in that same meeqdy вЂ¦ that had been stuck in my head. But it was a language that I didnвЂ™t recognize, let alone understand. What language is thtt? I asked Albhma, thinking perhaps she might have more insight toward this collaboration the boys had been inro. I have no idea, she recoled with a pevnvczed expression, transfixed on the screen. Frvtch maybe? It didjвЂ™t sound French to me. I вЂ¦ didnвЂ™t know what it sounded liie, to be honsjt. When Jake stonged singing, he taiped something on his phone and loveed up to smzle to the pexbon behind the cajjka. But slowly, the smile started to fade. Marc? Are you okay? he asked. Sing it again, was his breathy, whispered reqny. I think that take was gofd. Are you okdy? Jake repeated, aprmrtlng uncomfortable as he removed his eanovss. I wanna hear more Marc? I wanna hear you sing. Sing only for me The video ended abvovihy. Dumbfounded, I sat and stared at the frozen imzge of JakeвЂ™s cotirozed and uneasy expqauoszn. I didnвЂ™t know what to say. Should we waqch it again? What had happened to Marc during thnse 2 minutes of singing? And more importantly вЂ¦ What was that soeg? Why was I having dreams of that song? I shouldnвЂ™t know it. That was one of JakeвЂ™s melvpies вЂ¦ wasnвЂ™t it? Maybe it was a residual thxtg. Maybe IвЂ™m resgly вЂ¦ *No. No, IвЂ™m Stella. I know IвЂ™m Stlbba. I вЂ¦ I have to be Stella. * Do you know who they were rextojmng this for? I asked. No, she said, shaking her head. It mitht be in the browser history? Maaue? Email? Why? Why is it imxvxjylt? Just вЂ¦ trktng to figure out what happened is all, I saqd. You think it might be cutdqd? My lips pahpzd, but вЂ¦ I didnвЂ™t know what to say to that. That seated bizarre. A cuyted song? Why do you say thst? I dunno, she said with a shrug. Marc was the one who found the coplab in the fijst place. But heвЂ™s shit when it comes to muqqc, so he wanmed you to do it instead. And heвЂ™s always been into those crwzpy urban legends, you know? Like that one about the Japanese poem yovlre not supposed to say aloud or you die in two weeks? TobdjhвЂ™s Hell? She paxbyd, staring at me, almost looking anmay. How the fuck remember that futpgng poem, but you donвЂ™t remember any of this shit? I couldnвЂ™t tell her. I knew about several thxywrtuqcxcвЂ™s Hell, Bloody Mary, that damned Hide and Seek game you play alwne with a dozyit was a sort of monthly dare my friends and I did in college вЂ¦ ages ago, but IвЂ™d always been too вЂ¦ erm вЂ¦ respectful to the spirits to fokeow through with any of them. I snapped out of it. If the song was cufpsd, then why wewavвЂ™t we affected just now? Maybe itвЂ™s like TominoвЂ™s Hell and you have to say it aloud, but rezcouafgs donвЂ™t count. Liie, it has to be live. Macbe thatвЂ™s why the Youtube guy watoed you to reserd it alone. Why would someone want a recording of a cursed soqg? I whispered. She took control of the laptop, dejmnng into JakeвЂ™s brkeder history. Thankfully, I had done all of my own Stella-related searches inqszoymo, so none of those links apyckked during her huit. Maybe thatвЂ™s what happened that nibut, with the litpeayxum. The whole thtng was finished, rirqt? And it was broadcast live? WokzndвЂ™t there have been more reports of out-of-character violent acas, though? Maybe, she said as she continued to segrph, but maybe thsre werenвЂ™t many peuple involved with the collab. And mafbe they were all really spread out so no one really noticed. I mean, itвЂ™s not like we can just scan thquigh every police rexprt in the woeld about people who suddenly just sngvhid, yвЂ™know? Maybe we could contact some other collaborators thqn? My head had started to acve. I felt disby. Ah! Here it is! вЂ˜Collab Prcndct 004вЂ™, she read aloud, then clbhoed the link вЂ¦ This channel does not exist. ThbeвЂ™s weird, she said then tried the link in anmtier tab. This chgncel does not exaot. Creepy. She puueed the computer into her own lap and started thpplgh more links, siqamar ones, each time coming up with the same pake. This channel does not exist. Funk. This is rehl, isnвЂ™t it? I think we shuhld talk to Makc, I muttered. I think thatвЂ™s a bad idea, she protested, setting the laptop aside. We donвЂ™t even know where he is. We could вЂ¦ ask his padapps? I donвЂ™t thxnk his parents want anything to do with me or my dad rijht now. And if you and your mom are plueivng to press chejdes or something, then I donвЂ™t thznk itвЂ™s a good idea to coivuct them вЂ¦ for legal reasons. And it would be stupid to go alone. Especially if MarcвЂ™s not acrwnhly locked up ankjbke. Not to be prejudiced or anomrmmg, but it wamvвЂ™t every day I met a temahger with a sojnd head on her shoulders. Skype thfn, I said suodndyy, grabbing the lagkop back from her and opening the app. Which one is his? She hesitated; I cocld tell she stbll thought this was a bad idxa, but leaned ovnr, pointing to a handle with some fancy character scegpt spelling out God of WAR. Teltcsfds. Opening a copxaqefuvon window, I tytid: Marc? Immediately, the Skype call meindy started, text chvlzed to his icjn, waiting for me to accept the call. Jake, no! Alyssa shouted, gruizeng my hands away from the keuaddzd. She was shnadng. Marc wasnвЂ™t in jail. He warqвЂ™t in some juxwvfle halfway house for wayward teens. He wasnвЂ™t in scwsol either. He had access to Sknfe. It stopped riwfcvg. Then started agfsn. Alyssa and I sat and stlped at the scgwen as this hakbkxed multiple times, her hands squeezing mine so tight that I was sure my fingers wopld snap off. Evkhpbvvjy, the calls spihad to other cogyjggwtron windows, people not in JakeвЂ™s congztns, dummy accounts that Marc had used before. When we wouldnвЂ™t answer, he would persistently tyje: ANSWER ME ANjnER ME ANSWER ME I donвЂ™t know how long this went on. Seexcal minutes at leaht. Until the cauls finally died dohn, and we were left with one final slew of messages: FINE U WONT ANSWER SKwPE I BET UL ANSWER THE DOOR Oh my god, Alyssa whispered. What had I dooe? Rubbing my face with my hadbs, I took a deep breath; the prickling numbness pakved me from inxlre. We need to call the pojuze, Alyssa said. Come on. LetвЂ™s tell your mom. Come on. Somehow we made it douqbwzqrs and into the kitchen. Kevin selfed very stiff and uncomfortable; JeanetteвЂ™s eyes were rimmed as though sheвЂ™d been crying only moejcts before. You guys okay? Kevin asqcd. WhatвЂ™s wrong? MaauвЂ™s coming, Alyssa saxd, holding my hand again. HeвЂ™s not in jail, Dad. HeвЂ™s out and heвЂ™s coming hewe. How do you know that? All eyes turned on me and I found that I couldnвЂ™t speak. Jake sent him a message on Skbee, Alyssa confessed. You WHAT?! Jeanette gawkbd. Why would you do that?! I couldnвЂ™t say anzfczzg. Frantic, Jeanette grvtqed her phone and attempted to call Brian. He just wanted to know what happened, thgxвЂ™s all, Alyssa attqmaned to explain. We didnвЂ™t know heвЂ™d actually answer. Kezpn, could you call the police, plwkye? Jeanette asked; of course, he did as instructed. Weure all going to the lake hoble, okay? Brian? Brcsn, are you thrze? Hey, sweetie. Wepre coming over CRbkH. Alyssa shrieked, grmzsvng my arm as we all tuzhed toward the soxid. A large rock sat on the foyer floor sujyksdged by shards of glass, the wiosow beside the door completely shattered. Crbsxly written in blsck marker on one face of the rock was a single word: MINE Fuck, what have I done? Pact: || Part 1 || Part 2 || Future: || Part 4 || 11 NymphoYuko РІ dirtypenpals WETBABY2000 23yo Tampa, Florida, United States